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Dad’s Words – My Eulogy for Earle C. Williams

Posted on Apr 1, 2016 in Blog |

I think I knew Dad wasn’t going to survive on the second day of his hospitalization. He was having so much trouble breathing. I was rubbing his head and trying to comfort him. The most frequent question we asked was, “What do you need Dad?” And this one time he replied with, “I just need to REST.” The finality of his statement loomed heavily in the room that night. I started this eulogy two weeks ago when we first learned of Dad’s terminal diagnosis. It started out as “Dad’s Words” – some things Dad wanted to make sure were said in a particular, articulate manner. I believe that if he had the energy to prepare for his Judgment Day with God, Dad probably would have written his own eulogy. It wasn’t about bragging on himself. Rather, it was important for Dad to make certain that each of you understand why he did what he did in life. And he asked me to explain it for him. There is nothing quite like having to a write a eulogy for someone as superstar as my father. And, when he asked me to read him my rough draft just 24 hours after being given the assignment, I was intimidated. The best way I know to honor my father on this day, is to not only relay the words he wanted me to share with you, but to also tell you how he responded at certain points when I read him his own eulogy. Just two months prior to his death he was parasailing in Turks and Caicos with two of his granddaughters. Mom and Dad had gifted all 17 family members with the vacation of a lifetime, which was a life changing, healing event for everyone. When Dad was initially pondering the safety and sanity of parasailing at age 86, Heather responded, “Granddaddy, if you died while parasailing, that would make you such a badass.” To which he chuckled and agreed and said, “Let’s do it.” On Monday, February 29th, our lives changed forever. Dad was admitted to the Intensive Care Unit for pneumonia and sepsis. Dad fought with every cell in...

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Healing from the Cellular Level and Up

Posted on Jan 1, 2016 in Blog |

I’m not a fan of resolutions. I found this on a few people’s blogs and so I am stealing it! I started the list but then my thoughts started to wander . . . A new skill I would like to learn: Well, I would like to learn how to quilt, but I think that would be the start of a new obsession/addiction. I think I have enough skills that I have learned; I just need to hone them a bit more. I hope to have two of my books published in 2016 and I have ideas for two more, so writing is what I really want to do more of. A person I hope to be more like: maybe because it is the anniversary of his death, but I want to be more like Jim Rainey b/c he was a man who exuded pure kindness. I want that. A bad habit I would like to break: Biting my nails? I wouldn’t put money on this one though. A place I would like to visit: Turks and Caicos – going there very soon! A book I would like to read: I have about 150 on my Want to Read list . . . I don’t think it will ever reduce to below 50. A letter I am going to write: I already wrote it. I thanked Brightview Senior Living for the care they gave my father in law during his last three months of life. It has been a year, but I wanted them to know we still appreciate all they did for him. A food I am going to try: Hmm . . . I am pretty open to trying new foods, so I guess I will have to see what comes up. Jeff is the best chef ever, so I have already tried many, many things. I am going to do better at: being patient with the healing process. Ok, I really don’t think my patience level is going to improve, but that’s what I want to improve. I will remember: That just because I can help someone doesn’t mean I have to.   Especially when it...

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Don’t Give Up Before the Miracle Happens

Posted on Dec 11, 2015 in Blog |

It’s the holidays –  I’m just recovering from my second surgical procedure in two weeks. I’m sore and tired. My back hurts from sitting in an uncomfortable chair. I have purchased maybe 6 gifts and only 4 are for my own family. I am VERY behind in shopping and VERY behind in work tasks. I feel STRESSED. I came home from my first day at work this week and was exhausted from just four hours of work.  I spent the rest of today on FB just letting my brain waste away. Sounds like I have a chronic illness, doesn’t it? So, I am saying to you, IT’S OK. It’s ok not to finish everything. It’s ok to put up 1/3 of the decorations. It’s ok to go to bed early. It’s ok to eat light dinners. This also tends to be the time of year when we re-evaluate what has transpired in the past twelve months. For many of us in treatment, it’s usually followed with a heavy sigh, disappointment, frustration, and sadness. I got some not so great news a month or so ago (more on that later).  I was pissed off.  Sad. Mad. Defiant. Defeated. A year ago, I thought my next phase would take six months and i would be DONE. I was wrong. I am hoping to finish up this treatment protocol by the end of December. And, in January, I have to start a new protocol for another co-infection. I’m pissed.  Really pissed.  and really sad. But we didn’t know a year ago what we know now. I’ve killed Bartonella (bacterial infection) and I’ve killed Protomyxoa Rheumatica FL 1953 (parasitic infection).  And I’m going to annihilate this third one. So, you are tired. I’m tired. But we are going to keep going. We will not stop. We will continue to fight. But for this week, just go a little easy on yourself. Love yourself more. Drink more water. Sleep  more. Stretch more. And reach out to someone else who understands this disease.  It will help you both. Don’t give up before the miracle happens.  I have seen numerous miracles in my recovery and I...

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Flow, Energy, Massage, Acupuncture, Loss

Posted on Aug 15, 2015 in Blog |

Flow. I bet some of you thought this might be about yoga. Wrong. When I hear about a close friend experiencing a medical crisis, I go into full forward motion. I do anything and everything I can to motivate and coordinate people into helping the person in need. I may not be able to do everything, but I can find people who can fill in the blanks. The difficulty I have in this is that I tend to bring that anxious energy and fear into my own body and I store it there. I don’t let it just FLOW through me as I learned in Somatic Experiencing therapy. I think I need a refresher course. When I go to the doctor’s office for a test, I get tense. My muscles are tight and I don’t even realize it. I try to make small talk with the emotionless tech but by the end, I’m still tense and anxious upon leaving. When I get a massage, I can sometimes get emotional. It’s like a total cleansing. Getting all the bad juju out in an hour. When I get acupuncture, I usually feel invigorated and relaxed. I feel enlightened, actually and I can usually come home and write rather easily and freely. Today, I did all of the above. And I am completely exhausted. I sucked in all the negative energy with my friend Bambi’s stroke updates. I didn’t let the energy FLOW through. I caught, but didn’t release. I tried deep breathing at the doctor’s office, but I’m still emotionally and physically processing what is happening. This was totally unexpected and I feel like I’ve been thrown off kilter. It takes me awhile to get my balance back. The massage was fantastic, first time with this person, first massage by a man (yes it was weird, but he is amazing) and he got into my muscles and fascia really deeply. My physical therapist has to use a steel tool to break my fascia apart from my muscles. And as I got more relaxed, I could feel my emotions from the week starting to surface. But I was ok so far. And...

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Posted on Apr 19, 2013 in Blog |

Day before yesterday, I attended my first business-networking event in more than three years. I went to business grand opening for someone I really like. I knew some people there whom I really like. I had a good time there. They had cupcakes there. But when I got home at 7:30 pm, I knew I had done too much for the day. I was exhausted. And actually, when I left my office at 5:30, and couldn’t find my car in our parking lot, I knew then that I was tired and probably should go straight home. But I really wanted to go. So I did. Yesterday, I was exhausted before I even got out of bed. Yes, fatigue is still an issue for me. However, I also have a better idea of how to handle it when it arrives. I rest. I rest a lot. I rest often. I rest completely; I lie flat on my bed, head even with my heart. It is the only way I can start to feel better. Yesterday, I came home early from work and rested. I will rest today. I will probably only do one or two activities this weekend (coffee with some girl friends on Saturday morning and going to our local art show; each will be only about an hour long). I’m working next weekend at the Take Back Your Health Conference, too. So I need to plan for that. Last time I did a conference, I didn’t plan. I ended up working ten days in a row and I paid the price dearly for that . . so next week, I won’t work full days every day. And I may take the Monday after the conference off. For those of you who think this must be “the life,” I want to clarify here that when I am resting, I am doing nothing else. I don’t have the bandwidth to watch a movie or read a book. I don’t have the energy to knit or needlepoint. I rest. It’s not fun. And oddly enough, it’s not easy; because I really would prefer to be doing something. Anything other than...

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