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Who I Am and What I Value

Posted on Nov 11, 2016 in Blog |

An acquaintance sat across the table from another woman. They are both life coaches. They had previously chatted on the phone and were now meeting IRL. One asked the other to tell her about herself – sometimes the hardest and most pointless question ever. She gave her an off the cuff list of what she values in a way to describe who she is. You can read her post here. And she challenged others to do the same. Here are mine (Sharon Elaine Williams Rainey): I am a feeler – I feel my own emotions intensely, unceasingly, and without organization. I feel them as they come, big, small, trivial, life changing. I am an empath – I feel everyone else’s feelings too. With no filter, no order, and no directions. I am writer – I have an incessant need to process my feelings through writing. And I have an incessant need to share my writing with others. The words swirl in my head endlessly until I write them down. I think in words. Pictures are hard for me. Auditory processing is almost nil, so if you want me to remember it, you better write it down and send it to me in an email – because my memory is also shitty. I am a connector. I never seem to know THE some one or thing, but I usually know someone who knows THE some one or thing. I despise conflict. I want everyone to get along. We don’t have to agree, but I demand everyone around me be respectful. If we don’t have respect, we don’t have much else. I am a recovering addict – I have 28 years’ experience of living life on life’s terms, which is still a challenge for me. So I still attend 12 Step meetings to help me remember that the only person, place or thing I can control is ME. I am a learner – I am always looking for the lesson in my daily life. I like to try to learn things the first time around so I don’t have to review them over and over in new situations. I believe that...

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The ABCs of Ticks

Posted on Jul 9, 2015 in Blog |

Note from Sharon: I don’t personally care for the Mayo Clinic’s way of diagnosing and treating Lyme disease, but I do think the following link has some good information and an interesting way of presenting the information. Thank you to Carol Pearson for sending this to me! From the Mayo Clinic: http://news.mayomedicallaboratories.com/ticks/ Share...

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The Need to Connect

Posted on Sep 1, 2014 in Blog |

Robin Williams’ death highlights the need to connect . . . http://www.womensvoicesmagazine.com/2014/09/01/robin-williams-death-highlights-the-need-for-connecting/#.VASfKbxdWrg It has been almost a month now since news of Robin Williams’ suicide trended and overtook the news coverage. Every time I hear of someone’s death by suicide, I am brought back to the instant when my sister Gayle heard that her 16-year old son had shot himself. I am brought back to the instant when my niece heard that her little brother was dead. I remember looking into my other sister’s eyes at those two moments and wishing we could be sharing any other experience but this one. And yet, we knew we were inextricably connected forever as our linked arms lifted Gayle from falling to the floor as her legs collapsed. The moments that followed were similar to what the movies proclaim: hysterical mother, sobbing families, screams of “Why?”, stunned silence, hushed phone calls to friends and distant family, ‘making preparations,’ waves of grief, and insurmountable anguish drowning each of us as the minute hand ticked. We don’t know why our nephew shot himself. We don’t know why he wanted to die. We will never know. We just know the pain of life was too much for him to bear. And, he chose the only way he knew, in that moment, to relieve himself of that angst. I believe the same to be true of Robin Williams. Everyone can surmise, and assume, and ponder. But there is only one person who knew and, I believe, he is now with his Maker, relieved of his torment. In that moment, he chose the only way he knew to be free of the pain and anguish that was too much for him to bear for another minute, or even another second. Many people initially surmised he was on drugs when he died by suicide. As a fellow recovering addict, I believe he was sober. For me, living life on life’s terms was so much harder to do without the drugs and alcohol.   I was clean and sober the two times I considered dying by my own means. Robin Williams and I were close in time for our sobriety...

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Here’s Why Letting People ‘In’ Honors Your Relationships

Posted on Aug 11, 2014 in Blog |

Here’s Why Letting People ‘In’ Honors Your Relationships http://www.womensvoicesmagazine.com/2014/08/01/heres-why-letting-people-in-honors-your-relationships/#.U-Uz6PldV8E Sometimes I dream of finding a place where I can be alone in a crowd, where there is no TV, no radio, and possibly, if I am lucky, no working cell phone. That’s a place I dream of writing and editing and getting so much work done. Be careful what you pray for. It’s 9 PM on a Friday night, and I am in the local hospital’s Short Stay Cardiac Observation Unit. They actually put me in a quiet spot, lights out. I haven’t turned on the TV, and my cell phone is working sporadically. I’ve been in this hospital for almost twelve hours. In the same unit my husband was in just a few months ago when he had a heart attack. I didn’t have a heart attack. I had pressure and shortness of breath for the past two weeks and worse the past two days. “And why did you wait two weeks to see a physician,” asked the nurse, and the physician, and my husband. “Because denial was working pretty well for me for those two weeks; this morning, not so much,” I replied. I asked a friend to take me to the emergency room today, because my father in law is here visiting. And, he isn’t doing too well physically, so I felt Jeff had enough on his hands to worry about. Plus the puppies we have are cute, but they are work. Then there is his job. You know, just a lot of “stuff” going on. So I told him I was running errands with Deb. That was good for five hours. Then I had to call him and tell him where I was and that they were keeping me for the night. Oh boy, he was not happy with me for keeping this secret from him. Ok, well we worked that out. But then, Jeff wanted to tell my sisters and my parents and… I didn’t want anyone to know, because nothing had been discovered yet, and frankly, I feel a little stupid being in here right now. I think I overreacted. I mean, if...

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Love and Support of Community Matters

Posted on Aug 6, 2014 in Blog |

The love and support of community matters for the people and animals . . . http://www.womensvoicesmagazine.com/2014/07/01/the-love-support-of-community-matters-for-people-animals/ Last month, our Ruby Cavalier King Charles Spaniel gave birth to puppies. I like to tell people it was an unplanned pregnancy. She and our tri-color CKC “got it on” while my husband was having a heart attack in the hospital. Sixty-five (or so) days later, my sweet Lola girl screamed in pain as she pushed her first born out. No one told me a dog could scream during childbirth. In case you didn’t know, dogs can scream during childbirth. The second puppy arrived about 25 minutes later, smaller, and a faster process and I think therefore, less painful for her. I had never seen a live birth before. My own son’s birth was an emergency C-section with general anesthesia. I’ve never seen any animal give birth. So this was all something quite exciting and different. Even with the “gross” factor of afterbirth, etc., I will say it is a privilege to watch such a miracle evolve. As each puppy popped out, my husband and I teared up and held hands, soaking in the sacredness of the moment. Once Lola finished the clean up, we face-timed with our son, so he could see the little cutie-pies. Of course, everyone thinks we should keep them… except me. Mind you, in our house, we already have THREE Cavalier King Charles Spaniel dogs. We also have a friend living downstairs with her Bijon-Havanese. That’s four dogs. So I have named “Thing 1 and Thing 2,” so I don’t get attached to them because we are NOT keeping them. But each day I find them cuter and cuter. It’s hard not to get attached. And it’s a time and labor intensive job just making sure they thrive. A few days after the birth, Lola developed mastitis, an infected mammary gland. We had to take all three of them into the vet’s office. We spent two hours with an incredible vet whom educated us on how to take care of all three. I had no idea that I had no idea. I was grateful for her insights and education. We weren’t...

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