I mourn for a father lost, and i celebrate my husband who gave me a son.
I didn’t want children when Jeff Rainey and I married. I woke up one morning, turned over and said, “Honey, I want to have a baby.” He replied without missing a beat, “It’s a good thing I’m flexible.”
My teacher today reassured me that though I miss Dad greatly, he fulfilled all of his obligations here and did all God needed him to do. His life was complete. I trust in that knowledge. But it still makes me wistful. And it does not take away Mom’s pain which remains fresh and unsettled.
My teacher and I talked about the trip to Turks and Caicos – you remember, the #vacationofalifetime. She said, “Every time you think of that trip, you think of it as magical . . . ”
I nodded my head. We all do. We all believe it was a magical trip.
She shook her head no. “That, my dear, was Love. It was Love felt by every single one of you at one point or another during those seven days. For once, for just a little bit, you felt as though you belonged in that family in all ways. It wasn’t magic, Sharon. It was LOVE.”
A friend of mine is in Turks and Caicos right now with his own family. The first night, he sent me photos of the sunset and texted, “It’s your dad saying hi from T & C.” It made me cry, in a good way.
I suppose what I am trying to say in a convoluted way is that while these holidays are difficult for those of us who cannot be with our loved ones, to remember they truly are with us.
I know when i look at the empty chair, or when we holds hands to say grace, instead of looking for Dad, or Jim (Jeff’s dad), or Aunt Betty, or Troup, or Aunt Cherry, I simply need to close my eyes, take in a breath, and feel them.
I might feel a light brush on the cheek, or the sun shining a bit brighter, or a whisper of the wind. They are with us, always. All we need to do is call for them in our hearts or out loud and they come to us.
Spirit has reminded me often this week that when I need help, if I reach out and ask for help, my guides and my God will be there.
So I ask for solace and peace in missing two of the greatest fathers God created.
I ask for laughter for my husband.
I ask that we gather on Sunday to celebrate family.
And even more so, that we celebrate and live in LOVE.