Posted on Feb 12, 2017 in Blog |
We are almost through our year of firsts without Dad.
With Valentine’s Day approaching, my heart sinks at the thought of Mom being alone.
Soon after Dad died, the three daughters agreed that we would still send Mom flowers for each event that Dad did. Just because he was dead doesn’t mean she shouldn’t get flowers anymore. Her flowers will arrive Monday.
In the past, my family didn’t gather for Valentine’s Day. Mom sent cards to the daughters, but dinner was for couples on their own. Not a big deal until this year.
For Jeff and me, we usually eat dinner together, but sometimes the dinner has included a child who might be at home with us, due to illness or maybe a recent breakup. We have viewed Valentine’s Day to be a day about love, not necessarily always just romance.
Jeff and I stopped going out for Valentine’s Day early in our marriage, frankly, because any meal we had in a restaurant, he could usually fix one better at home. When we stay home, our dinner is quiet, intimate, and most importantly, it is a leisurely time that we enjoy. No one is rushing for a second or third seating. I have always loved it this way.
So for this year, I asked my husband, who is the most romantic man I’ve ever known, if he would give me the greatest gift I could ask for.
I asked Jeff to come to Mom’s with me on Valentine’s Day and cook dinner for us both. Mom’s diet is a bit restricted, so going out would probably not be a great option. Plus, I don’t want her to see all the couples celebrating. I feel like it would be shoving the loss in front of her. We will bring the food and pots and pans and cook at Mom’s this Tuesday. We will make her a healthy, delicious, colorful meal. And we will eat leisurely.
I thought I would bring some of the videos she hasn’t seen yet from our childhoods that we have been transferring onto DVD. Dad can’t be there in person, but he will be with us in spirit and I thought it would be good to laugh at the times we shared together.
It is about the love, after all. But you already knew that.
And if you, too, are grieving and not looking forward to Valentine’s Day, there is a great blog called What’s Your Grief? Read this week’s blog: http://www.whatsyourgrief.com/grief-and-valentines-day-2014/