Posted on Dec 4, 2015 in Blog |
I ran into a woman at the post office whom I had not seen in almost ten years. I didn’t recognize her. She came to me. She was fashionable, perky, beautiful, wearing swanky glasses and third floor Nordstrom clothes. She asked me how I was doing and I swiftly avoided answering by asking her if she had grown her hair out. She looked how I wish I could look.
Thirty-four years ago, I had my first bout of unexplained fatigue.
Six weeks into my first semester at college, I couldn’t stay awake. I was exhausted. Could not keep my eyes open. I literally slept for 23 hours at a stretch. I was losing weight and obviously not attending classes. My parents brought me home and I underwent innumerable blood tests. I wish I had kept those test results. I just remember them saying everything was normal. There was no explanation for my intense fatigue. I stayed home the rest of the semester and returned in January, rested and feeling better, still with no explanation of why I needed so much rest for so many weeks.
For the past week, I have had almost the same fatigue – sleeping 10 to 11 hours at night and 3 hours in the afternoons. And I can’t make myself wake up.
I have had some of the worst pain in the past week as I have had in the past six years. I don’t know why. Doctor has some ideas and suggestions, but nothing is working as quickly as I want.
The inflammation is back in spades at a vascular level. I had blood taken yesterday for the surgery I am having Monday and it came out like sludge, as it used to six years ago before I started treatment. While I can’t prove it, I know there is a connection between vascular inflammation and hyper-coagulability. I know the inflammation will lessen and the blood will thin as the barometric pressure rises and with the doctor’s suggestions.
How can I explain how I feel to the woman in the post office? I have been battling this disease for decades. How do I tell her that I am leaving work after two hours because of the indomitable fatigue and pain?
I’m not searching for sympathetic comments. I’m just trying to tell you that even though I have made a ton of progress, some days and weeks just suck. It’s the 3 steps forward, 2.5 back thing.
Right now, I’m just doing what I need to do to prepare for Monday’s surgery. I’m getting the left saphenous vein ligated – they go through the groin, cut a piece out, laser both ends shut and we are done! Surgery takes two hours and I will no longer run the risk of those nasty blood clots coming up to my femoral vein. I’ll be out most of the week, but hopefully back on line by Tuesday afternoon.