Posted on Nov 11, 2010 in Blog |
I saw Dr. M yesterday and of course, it was a great appointment that put me on a pink cloud again. I am grateful for these meetings as they remind me of the fluidity of this healing process. It’s hard to remember that sometimes when I have had 30+ days of increased back pain and fatigue. I felt like it was a regression, but he reassured me it is a ‘normal’ part of the healing process at this point. It’s a l-o-n-g herx. Could last a bit longer, but we are going to assume it’s on its last legs.
I am always amazed by what Dr. M says that usually points to a part of my issue, and it’s usually a point that I have NOT disclosed to him yet . . . .
Yesterday, he goes through my paperwork and comments I have written complaining of increase fatigue and pain. He explains how the abx are reaching the areas of my body with the least circulation and the bacteria is trying to make a last stand in those areas. Lots of rebellion and killing going on . . .
But then he says, ‘This is the point in therapy where it’s really important to get things aligned in your life . . .Prayer and meditation are just as important now as they were a year ago.’ He draws a picture of a bunch of different arrows of different sizes going in all different directions. ‘Right now, the body has al these cells that are sort of firing off in all different directions. . . . it’s important for you, in this healing, to get those cells lined up so they are all going in the same direction. They all need to move forward in a single row . . .’
‘This is a critical part of healing right now and it’s where some patients fail because they don’t get the other parts of their lives in order. The cells keep firing off in all directions and there is no cohesion, no forward movement. This element of cells going in different directions causes stress. Good or bad, it’s stress. And stress feeds this disease.’
I have a successful company.
I have a successful foundation that is being recognized by the Governor in early December (just found this out yesterday).
I have a book being published next week and a book signing party in December.
I have a family that is healing from this disease including a son who is doing better in school than ever before in his life . . . .
I have parents who are aging and who still support me and love me.
I have more, close friends than I think I have ever had in my life (though many of them are 20+ year old friendships)
I am meeting my friends for more lunches, coffees, etc.
I have been meeting more Lymies, some of whom are just beginning this healing journey.
I have a niece getting married this weekend.
I have family coming in from out of town.
I am working on my second book which is fun, exciting, and invigorating to write.
I already have ideas for a third book and fourth book, which a year ago, was unfathomable.
I am reading more books than I have in years because my brain fog is lifting and I can actually process what I read.
Literally, my dreams are all coming true in a matter of months . . . .
BUT, these are all items that can cause stress. It’s good stress, but it’s stress.
Did I mention that during the past 2-3 weeks, I have sort of ‘forgotten’ to pray and meditate as much as I usually do?
Did I mention that I have been feeling out of sorts and then resentful that I am feeling out of sorts and that I was attributing it to the pain and fatigue?
No, I didn’t mention that. I didn’t mention it to Dr. M before his comments yesterday.
So, as Dr. M is talking about the importance of prayer and meditation at this critical point in the healing process, I’m sort of glancing up around the room wondering just how hard God is chuckling . . . .
Prayer and meditation is not something Dr. M mentions to all of his patients. In fact, with my son and husband, he doesn’t mention it at all.
So how does he know it’s such an important factor in my life? How does he know I haven’t been including it in my daily routine the past few weeks? How does he know this is what is missing and needs to return to my routine?
How does he KNOW????
I don’t know. And really, it doesn’t matter. I just know he is right and I need to insert it back into my daily routine. I need to get my cells firing in the right direction in a single line, all moving forward. So that’s what I will do. I’ll keep you posted.